Whatever I want!

When I'm bored I like to try and make the world a more interesting place. I regularly go to the "Missed connections" section of craigslist in random cities and post vague but extremely strange messages about personal encounters. I attempt to be extremely vague about what sex I am while writing and I always give very specific directions to the reader...I honestly believe I have left many people wearing Dr. Suess Cat in the Hat hat standing in the middle of corn fields with chili dogs. I hope to one day get two people to meet per instructions I leave that have never before seen each other in their lives. What happens from there is hilarious no matter what. Maybe they fight, maybe they walk away, maybe they fall madly in love and get married in a hot air balloon. Who knows?
 Another fun one is to leave strange notes around the city. Notes like
"I am time traveling and if all goes according to plan at 9:17 Tuesday afternoon I should rematerialize right in front of this note. I am leaving this only as a precaution so that no one is standing here at that exact time. If it's about that time and you are standing here reading this please move now. Failure to do so could lead to your atoms and my atoms being fused together in space and time. And I don't want your atoms in my atoms...no offense, it's just a personal thing I have. But seriously if our atoms are fused we'll have to go see my uncle Dave to get them separated and he lives all the way across town, and it's a real pain to get there because there's a bunch of lights and some construction right in front of his neighborhood so you have to go in through the back and I always get lost when I do that. Do you know how to navigate his neighborhood? Cause I swear you have to make like 12 lefts and 32 rights to get to his house..."
-Syd
I have yet to try this idea but I think it's genius. I need a desk and an elevator. I want to put the desk into the elevator, then whenever someone opens the door I'd be sitting behind the desk and say "Do you have an appointment?"
-End